So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
