I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
