new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
