Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
