So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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