I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize