WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
