So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
