She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
