Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
