Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize