i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
