it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
