I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
