god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
