I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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