i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
