The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
