in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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