i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
