Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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