I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
