i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
