Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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