She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
