Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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