This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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