what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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