I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
