i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize