love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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