may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
