dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
