May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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