Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
