nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
