hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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