hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Alive.
So much puke
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
