You can't motorboat a personality
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
