He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
