she was so not down for the gang bang
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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