in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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