So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize