well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
