Quick, to the slutcave!
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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