please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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