Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
