just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
