It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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