Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize