Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Can you bring me the toilet please
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
