im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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