who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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