hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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