so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
