Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize