I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
