Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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