that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize