the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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