Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
