its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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