4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
