found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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