i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
