A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize