there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize