I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
operation harelip BJ is a go
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I wear drunk well.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
