we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
