if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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