Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize