I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
