I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
