i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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